Oh deary, deary, dear.

I warn you now, ladies and gents--this is a nerd rant.

So this morning I'm combing through the comments for a game review--the review for Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Conviction--when I come upon a particular comment from one "michaelmcc827", who writes:

"But, by all means, rate the game higher because it makes you feel like a "badass". Just like every other game this gen, just like ACII, just like Modern Warfare 2, go ahead and rate it higher because it makes you feel like you're good at the game, without actually being good at it. Meanwhile, some of us will be getting our gratification from actually accomplishing something."

"Accomplishing something," he typed--without a hint of irony, I'm sure--doing his best to angrily rebuff the reviewer's notion that the previous games in the Splinter Cell series were too difficult/frustrating.

And we wonder why video games have such a social stigma about them--because gamers such as Michael here type things like that.

I frequent various gaming message boards and chats, etc., in my eternal efforts to stave off boredom, and I've encountered similar individuals on a strangely regular basis: gamers who have convinced themselves that their hobby is some noble deed, some powerful achievement that should be recognized by their peers as a display of superior ability and intelligence; people who use the words "tragic" and "sad" when referring to the "state of the industry" and how "dumbed down it is"--

gamers convinced that by sitting on a couch or in a chair (or flailing wildly at the screen with a Wiimote,) and pressing buttons, they've "accomplished something."

Oh, deary, deary, dear--for those gamers, I have some extremely bad news.

What we are doing is a hobby. We do it (or at least, I do it) in order to entertain ourselves during our downtime, the same way people watch television or movies. We relax, controller in hand, and explore virtual worlds, escaping the drab halls of reality for a little while in order to just sit down and play. To that end, it's a wonderful way to have fun--but for pete's sake, don't fool yourselves into thinking this is a productive endeavor. It's not, and never will be (studies concerning hand-eye coordination notwithstanding.) You are playing a game--there's no gold and glory at the end of the day, no mark on your resume, no promotion, no sudden lurches in your burgeoning maturity.

There is, of course (if the game is good) a sense of catharsis and self-satisfaction; this is fine, this is the whole point of completing the game. But to use phrases such as "accomplishing something" (especially in such a way as to act superior to other people because you play video games) or "tragedy" denotes a complete lack of perspective. If you want a tragedy, look at Haiti, look at Darfur. Those are tragedies--and in comparison, the general downturn in gaming difficulty in order to appeal to a wider market most certainly doesn't deserve the word. And as for "accomplishing something"? Gamers of this particular persuasion, looking to "accomplish something" so they can lord it over others--here's the bad news.

Your princess is in another castle.